Thursday, August 20, 2015

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade

How many times have you heard this saying, “When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade?” How often do you actually apply it to your life? If you have applied it, was your lemonade bitter or sweet? Yes, I have so many questions. Questions about life. See, here’s the thing, I love me some sweet lemonade. You know the fresh squeezed kind they sell at Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shop… Mmmmm.

            I don’t like much of anything that is bitter: fruits, candy, pastries, or people. Yes, the last word in the previous sentence is people. People. People. People. Some people choose to be bitter. Let’s pause for a moment to research the definition of bitter.

bitter (adjective): having a strong and often unpleasant flavor, opposite of sweet, causing painful emotions, angry, unhappy because of unfair treatment.

            The above definitions were found in the Webster’s dictionary. There were several definitions, but I’ve chosen to just stop at this one. It’s short and compacted with a lot of information.

            First, it states that bitter is having a strong and often unpleasant flavor. Who wants to eat something that’s describe in this way? It doesn’t just have an unpleasant flavor, but the flavor is strong, like a lemon or lime. Some of us enjoy eating lemons and limes. Do we enjoy the company of a bitter person? A person that always (never failing) has something negative to say. They’re always complaining. They’re always upset about something. Their car was scratched by somebody’s door, then a bird pooped on their window shield. Blah Blah Blah. Okay, maybe you don’t mind being around this type of person or maybe it’s you. Your nagging bestfriend (or maybe it’s you) is (are) a dark storm cloud clouding someone’s thoughts. You’re usually not happy with your decisions in life and you want everyone to know and be unhappy with you.

            Secondly, it states that bitter is the opposite of sweet. This type of person is just not nice to anyone. They’re mean, nasty, cruel, and they’re okay with the way they are. The most disturbing thing about this person’s personality is he/she doesn’t believe they hurt others with their bitterness.

            Next, there’s the person that causes painful emotions; okay here’s where my life falls into the story. I’ve recently had a bouncing baby boy (he’s 7 months old now)! The father of my child decided to be single and he’s okay with his child being raised by a single mother (I’ll blog about that later). Needless to say, it caused me so much pain, which in turned has caused painful emotions in my mind/heart that have been difficult to let go (I’m working on those). I’m learning to reprogram my thinking. I’m changing thoughts I’ve had since I was a little girl. To be honest, I don’t work hard for me, I work hard for my son. I don’t want my son to be taught these painful emotions. Currently, writing this blog post is giving me FREEDOM from those painful emotions.

            Then there’s the definition of anger. Bitter = Anger. I’ve dealt with anger very often in my life. In my work place, my students maybe angry. While at home, Christian (my son) may get angry. And (I am aware I shouldn’t start a sentence with a conjunction) there’s me. . . I get angry! I get angry in traffic. I get angry at my son’s father (a lot!). I even get angry at God. Yes, I said it! I was extremely angry when I got pregnant. Surprise!! Many people saw me and thought I was the happiest pregnant woman they’ve ever meet. Many people see my son and say, “You must have been really happy while pregnant with him.” Well, maybe I was happy more than angry during my pregnancy, but I had a lot to be angry and happy about. For one, my students at work kept me extremely happy. The work place was my escape place. Believe it or not. I knew his (Christian’s) father couldn’t bother me there. My thoughts of him were gone once I entered that place. My mind and heart were focused on my students. I was often angry when my thoughts had time to wander. Mostly, while at home alone, or driving home. I had time to get angry. I had time to make him angry also. I also had time to cause him pain. . . which I only did because he hurt me. Yes, those were the thoughts going through my heart and mind.

            That brings me to the last definition, bitter is being unhappy because of unfair treatment. I felt that God had dealt me an unfair life. Not in regards to getting pregnant, but by getting pregnant by a particular person. Yes, I know I had to have sex to get pregnant. But . . .  “Why him?” or “Why Me, God?” (A later blog post title.) I had a lot of “Why” questions for God. Has He answered them all??? Mmmmm I would say, “no”. Although, He hasn’t answered them, but He is slowly showing me my answers. I’m dealing with the lemons in my life. I’m coping with the bitterness in life. Am I accepting bitterness to take control over me? No. I am learning how to control my bitterness/anger. I am learning how to make some sweet lemonade out of sour lemons.

Simple things I do to stay under control:

1.      Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.
2.      Ask for help. If it’s extreme, I have to pray. I have to vent to God.
3.      Vent to someone nice, someone I can trust.
4.      Try my best to let it go and control my thinking.
5.      Read, watch a funny movie, do something to make me relax my mind.